No Holds Barred

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No Holds Barred
Topic Started: Nov 4 2006, 06:33 PM (94 Views)
Morgan	Nov 4 2006, 06:33 PM Post #1
Dinkin' flicka. Posts: 1,890 Group: Staff Member #2 Joined: June 28, 2006 Gender: Male Name: Morgan Location: Sarasota, FL Last.fm: rockon1824	Yeah, all of a sudden I hit this wave of inspiration and was on MT so I just clicked new topic and started typing. Now reading it over, it sucks, but what the hell. You will notice this is not my style at all, a) it's poetry B) it's actually thoughtfully structured. Have fun. I exhale; now free from my only tie to Earth I am picked up by the wind and fly up and above; within my mind's eye I'm at peace, carefree. I'm volar; In this state there is nothing else, my flight is sustained by my pulse which pumps steadily to a mute waltz, Forevermore, I soar. This aura, forged by the heavens wafting through the windows of this empty room bringing with it the essence of things at bloom; no reservations, no obligations.
	If If you If you could If you could only If you could only stop If you could only stop your If you could only stop your heart If you could only stop your heart beat If you could only stop your heart beat for If you could only stop your heart beat for one heart If you could only stop your heart beat for one heart beat.


ana	Nov 4 2006, 07:48 PM Post #2
eskizo Posts: 5,763 Group: Staff Member #27 Joined: June 29, 2006 Gender: Female Name: Ana Location: Madrid	wow, the style of this piece certainly is different to the rest of stuff i've read from you... i'm therefore not gonna full crit this, if that's ok, cos i think it really is a very personal style, and giving a detailed opinion wouldn't help at all. i like how each stanza has a different feel to it, though keeping a steady structure and all throughout the whole thing. i quite like the peculiar flow of the first verse, it's very cool. the second stanza, on the other hand, seems to focus a bit more on what you're saying, and the third one kinda emphasizes the rhyme - it makes a pretty good ending, by the way. dunno, i feel that maybe the piece lacks something, but anyways i like what you've got here. interesting ideas and pretty good wording, in general. nice job, morgan.
	I'M SPAINISH! *I DOSENT SPLEL WEL!*


Liberation	Nov 8 2006, 07:16 PM Post #3
LOL WUT? Posts: 2,382 Group: Members Member #8 Joined: June 28, 2006 Gender: Male Name: Trevor Location: Edmonton, AB Last.fm: BloodAndBelief	Im with ana on this one, this holds no ties to your usual writing style, however, I like that, it's nice to see something different from the norm. Good work here.
	IloveAmber<3


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